We will always remember Ellie for her love for others, her creativity, sensitivity, and delight in life! Ellie's light has spread far and wide... may it continue to shine in our hearts.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

From Sarah

My precious family and friends:

Your love and prayers have sustained and upheld me in the longest hours and days I have ever lived! I finally sat down at the computer and read the updates and comments. As Loretta said, she has read some of your thoughts to me over the phone... often while I cried. I don't know if there are adequate words in the English language to describe to you the unbearable pain I have felt, and even now feel along with the sweet comfort and strength of our loving God. Even as I type, I cannot stop the tears from flowing. I was able to sleep for many long hours last night, and then stayed in bed reading for the rest of the day in an attempt to block out the images in my head and the thoughts of what Ellie is going through several blocks away from me. John's aunt Belinda (a fire fighter from Florida) flew in just after Melanie left to help us care for Ellie. John and "B" are taking turns with Ellie - with Loretta ever present on the phone, while I rest. They have made me feel completely at ease to be able to take all the time that I need, and quite honestly I don't know when I will be able to face going back into that room. Of course, I will go - but for now I rest knowing that Ellie is in capable and loving hands... and that in my present state I will be no help at all to my little girl. The time is coming when she will need me again, and I will be there.

Mom, Stan, Pat and Ginger are all back in Florida now. It was wonderful to have them all here, and while Ginger spent quite a bit of the time helping with the phone and record keeping in the room, the grandparents had to spend a lot of time just waiting. They would take turns coming in to see Ellie in her peaceful moments, but I was unable to bear the thought of them spending the kind of time in the room that we were. I was sorry enough for what Ginger had to see. I feel that their burden of all that they were feeling in loving Ellie the way that they do was enough to bear. (And to be quite honest, on the selfish side, I would have been unable to stay in a strong place during some of the "episodes" if I had to look up and see the pain in my heart mirrored on their faces.) While Melanie was here, we were able to leave Ellie in her care a couple of times and spend time all together over a meal. It was wonderful just to tell stories, catch each other up on details, and just laugh. And once I was able to take them on a tour of Sloan Kettering and have them meet some of the special people there.

Some of the days and nights have started blurring together, so I'm glad that you have been receiving updates along the way. I have memories of the past days that are both horrible and sweet. I spent many hours leaned over the bed at not quite a 45 degree angle, and even in that, God provided the strength when I needed it. I would often find out later that I had been in that position for 2-3 hours at a time. There were many times when Ellie was bent on communicating something to me and it would take a full inspection of her body only to find out that she wanted to turn on one side. Sometimes she would get so frustrated, that she'd start to cry. In the scariest and most upsetting moments, she was completely out of her mind - even to the point of pushing John or me away from her in fear - and once it took three grown women (the nurse, Ginger and me) to hold her down to keep her from ripping the tube out of her throat. Another time she was convinced that there were spiders everywhere. Sometimes she was calm and smiling - and she even made a joke. I came in the room to find her smiling at John, but when she saw me she put out her bottom lip. When I recognized it as her "egg custard face" (inside joke) she grinned - as best she could with a tube taped to the side of her mouth. During one of the most difficult times when I was trying to calm her down, I quoted her favorite Scripture verse: "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind." I could see her lips moving as she tried to say it along with me. As she started becoming more frantic (I believe this was when she was seeing spiders) I repeated it probably 20 or more times in a row along with assuring her that what she was seeing wasn't real and that I would not allow that to happen to her. Yesterday, around the time when she was able to frame the words "I can't do this anymore" (after breathing at a rate of 50-80 respirations per minute for over 24 hours) I assured her that Jesus was with her every step of the way, and that he had been through suffering just like her. I prayed with her and made sure that she knew that He would not let her go. The hardest part for me has been staying almost exclusively in the mode where I can't allow her suffering sink in to the point of rendering me useless to her, so that I can get in her face and talk her down from the panic, fear, and pain - or inspire her to think, work and remain calm. The night before last I was completely spent. I realized that God had given me super-human strength and endurance, but in that moment it was just gone. I knew that God had not failed me, but that He had provided fresh strength in the form of Belinda. Even though I slept in the PICU that night, B was on duty and I could rest for a number of hours. That night I was awarded the one precious "mommy" moment of the whole experience. Ellie asked for me to be "with" her, so with the help of B and the nurse, I carefully dodged all of the tubes and wires and climbed into bed next to Ellie. While she rapidly breathed into the sealed "bi-pap" mask, I snuggled her as close as the tubes would allow. And for two precious hours I was just able to be Mommy. And in between spells of sitting up to cough, Ellie slept while her breathing began to slow. I slept some as well, but not before I looked up to see tears streaming down Belinda's face while she talked on the phone to Ellie's "Lala" (Loretta).

Where, may you ask were the drugs? Well, that has been the most difficult and complicated part of the whole process. (Not to mention another source of my exhaustion.) The delicate balance of keeping Ellie sedated enough and keeping her body going towards the goal of extubation (twice) was extremely tricky. Often while rather heavily sedated, Ellie would still manage to try her best to communicate. We were in constant communication with the medical personnel to determine what Ellie's mind, emotions, and body could take. My wish, as Ellie's mother, for her to remain comfortable is only superseded by my desire for her to remain alive! (As it has been for this entire 7 months.) Once she was no longer on the ventilator, she was not allowed to be too heavily sedated so that she could still breathe properly. (But there were still some meds on board to keep the pain from her chest tube at bay and keep her anxiety levels down.) There was also the problem of Ellie's blood pressure. While on the ventilator, during which time it is best to remain sedated, her BP was too low, and sedation drugs made it lower. Once off the ventilator, during which time she was not to be sedated, her BP went too high... and so it goes.

As I told you in an earlier entry, God has enabled me to be bold when I need to. It is still a rather foreign feeling to me, and has been dubbed as my “warrior mom” mode by Melanie. I’m still not really sure that it qualifies as bold to most people’s standards because John thinks it’s “cute” and no-one seems intimidated by it at all. I was telling Ginger that in my mind I have horns, and fangs, and even a sword… but she said that it’s true, but they’re pink and sparkly. Oh well, so much for the intimidation factor!

I have been thinking a lot about all of your prayers for us, and I know that the temptation must be there to wonder why He doesn't just step in and make it all better. I don't have a crystal clear answer to that - even for my own heart - other than to say that we have seen, heard and felt the results of your prayers in ways too numerous to count. I have had a very real impression from the beginning of this (Ellie's cancer) that God intends to use Ellie's life for His glory, and when all else is stripped away - that is the only thing in this life of ours that really matters, and it is the only real dream that I have for my children. I have known from the very start that this journey would be about suffering... no matter what the end result will be. With all the strength of a mother's love, I don't want my little girl to suffer - but with just as much certainty I know that this life is not the end. I know that unbelievable glory and joy will be Ellie's when she reaches the arms of her Savior whether that comes when she is 8 years old or 108. It is this knowledge that sometimes tears me up inside... when watching her suffer becomes too much to bear. When Ellie was re-intubated last night and we came back into the room to see her lying on the table paralyzed and unconscious, I must confess that I just wanted it to all end for her. I carefully applied Ellie's special ointment to her parched lips and any other visible wounds. I placed pillows under her knees, and made sure that "procedure bunny" was in her hand. I made sure that her skin was covered with a sheet just in case she was cold. I whispered in her ear that she had done well and worked so hard, that now she could rest, and that I love her. And then I walked away knowing that I had done my best and given my all to prepare her emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually for life or for death. I wondered if somehow God might answer her prayer and take her home in her sleep. And then I cried because I don't want to lose her.

My sweet girl made it through the night, with her daddy watching over her. Belinda and John are taking the night shift together and hopefully John can sleep some, since he has gone all night and all day with only a short power nap. I have spent the better part of the day crying... Even in this state I can see that God's grace is still enough. And that the greatest gift that He has given me to get through this situation was to send His son to this earth in the form of a man... and that He cried and was hungry... He felt loss and He suffered... that He KNOWS in the fullest sense of knowing how I feel, how John feels, and most importantly, how Ellie feels. As if saving my soul wasn't enough, He even cares for my earthly state and put Himself in my place as a vulnerable human being and willingly suffered and now identifies with my pain. He holds me while I weep... all the while whispering that He KNOWS. And with every fiber of my being I hope that in the shadowy places of Ellie's drugged mind right now, she can hear Him whisper the same... "I am here, and I KNOW."

As you pray for us, please picture us this way... and know that as we encircle our little Ellie, we can feel your arms around us continually.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


At 5:26 PM, Anonymous Deann B. said...

You don't know me- but I am a long time friend of Kristi Corley. I have been reading this blog since the beginning, but felt compelled to comment today.

You, Sarah, have shown the most amazing courage and strength I think I have ever seen in a person. My heart breaks for all of you. But you are a true testiment to what God is and what He will do for us. I applaud you!! God will use all of you because of this situation.

You all are in our prayers, out here in Colorado Springs. I think resting today was good, as scripture says "Be still and know that I am God."

God Bless

At 6:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are so loved...

At 6:28 PM, Blogger Keri said...

Your feelings were expressed so beautifully here. Thank you so much for sharing your struggle with us. It is an honor to pray for Ellie. I am praying without ceasing for her dear life. She is a sweet testament. You all are so brave and I am so sorry that it is so difficult right now. No matter how bad it get, Ellie feels love. Ellie is loved. Ellie loves you and most importantly, Ellie loves God.

At 6:37 PM, Anonymous Mcalisters said...

We are praying for you all during this difficult time. We are with NTM and friends of dear Stan & Pat. The words to one of my favorite songs came to mind today and we know that HE is with you during these days....

He Giveth More Grace

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction He addeth His mercy;
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limit; His grace has no measure.
His pow'r has no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again!

Annie Johnson Flint

2Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Love & Prayers,
The McAlisters

At 6:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah, though you may not understand this all, you are such a strong woman, though you may feel weak at times. You are right, we prepare our children for what really matters. As parents, I can see nothing more important than sharing the love of our God, Creator, our loving Father through Jesus Christ to our children. I have three precious little gifts upstairs right now - to be put to bed. Before they go to sleep we will all be lifting Ellie up in prayer. May God continue to give you strength thru these desert days. May I also say thank you for giving me ( a busy Dad )a reminder to hug my little ones a bit tighter, and continue to prepare and train them up properly for whats really important in our lives. You are a strong woman Sarah, I will continue to pray for peace to you and your husband. In Jesus name -Amen.
The Stark Family, Blairstown, NJ

At 6:40 PM, Anonymous Kristina said...

Sarah, there are no words. I am with you in Spirit. Hugging you tight. Your sister in Christ, Kristina

At 6:44 PM, Blogger Allie said...

We're praying for your family and for Ellie. May God continue to pour out His love and strength to and through you - I know He will! He is the God of all comforts, comforting us so we may comfort others (comforting you so you can comfort Ellie) - 2 Cor 1.

Love in Christ,
Allie and Jeremy

At 6:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah, I check in everyday, throughout the day. Ellie and your family stay in my thoughts everyday. We are praying for all of you. With much love, Beth, Drew, Jacob, Cameron & Ethan Horn

At 6:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah, you are such an inspiration and have taught me so much through your updates. My prayers have been with dear Ellie and all of you.
God bless,

At 7:03 PM, Blogger Whatleys' World said...

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the ways that You are sustaining John, Sarah, Ellie, and the amazing team that you have placed around them. Through the struggles and pain You are allowing them to go through, thank you for the encouragement they find in You and in the Body of Christ. Rejuvinate them as Your time allows, giving them the energy and strength to carry on. We know that you know the number of days Ellie has, and as Sarah said, her desire is that her children and their lives bring glory to your name. Help them to keep their eyes focused on you, allowing their hearts to be comforted. Thank you for Your great love for Ellie, Your tender loving care, and Your ever caring hands holding her close to Yourself. Bring calmness and peace to her fears. Give her the rest she needs and the doctors wisdom.


At 7:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All I can tell you is that I love you and that I wish for just a fragment of your strength and Godliness if I should ever go through what you are.

Your testament to God's goodness is so evident and I bet there are parents and people all around you in that little PICU room, at the Day Hospital and at RMcD that are amazed - you are painting a picture for them of who God is and of just how trustworthy and strong He is. You go girlfriend! :-)

You are wrapped in our prayers as is Ellie and John and Ethan and all the rest of your team. God is good - and I will remind you again that one day we will sit over good coffee and marvel at His work and goodness through all of this pain and turmoil.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Cor 4:18

Bless you! I'm in your corner!!

At 7:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This chorus from one of Twila Paris' songs is for you tonight, a prayer to the Father.

"Sing me a lullaby
Sing me to sleep tonight
Sing me a tender lullaby
'Cause all my heart can do is cry
Help me compose my soul
Quietly take control
Sing me a lullaby and tell me I'm Your child."

May His love sing to your heart tonight, and to John's and to Ellie's, giving you peace and strength in the midst of this terrible storm. We all continue to pray for your precious daughter, knowing that God's love for all of you is all encompassing and everlasting.

At 7:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your heart...
It helps to know how to pray more specifically. Honestly, so many times I just don't know how to pray besides begging the Lord for mercy and continued strength and grace to be poured over you to get you through this. We've grown to love you guys...people we don't know...and Ellie is a household name around here. You are always in our thoughts and prayers...Les

At 7:52 PM, Blogger BreezieGirl said...

What a beautiful portrait....

God bless you.

At 7:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still praying for you lots here in PNG! Your posts are such an encouragement to all of us! It is truly amazing how God has given you such a great attitude through all of this. I remember one point in Martin and Gracia's captivity where we had come to the point where we knew that God could get them out, after all He is ALL-POWERFUL, and yet He allowed them to remain in captivity. We prayed and prayed and begged and begged God to get them released yet we felt powerless to move God's hand. We so wanted them out of there and yet we knew God had another plan that was better than ours. I know it was God who gave us His peace that passes all understanding to just accept His plan and not be anxious. Not that this in any way compares to what you are going through. I just share it because as we prayed for you yesterday (Thursday PNG time), the Lord brought these thoughts to mind. We so want God to heal Ellie and to bring glory to Himself that way and yet we know His plan is best. Your post today saying those same things was such an encouragement to me.Thanks.

Thanks for giving us glimpses into your heart and all that God is doing in and through you.

Love and prayers,
The Burnhams in PNG

At 7:57 PM, Blogger tricia said...

Sarah, Thanks for stopping by...I really miss you too. I'd love for you to come sit in my moth infested house and zone out. You and Ellie are on my mind and in my heart continually, much love, Tricai

At 8:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ya'll are always in my thoughts and prayers. We send our love. Kim D.

At 8:35 PM, Blogger AECC said...

I believe as you do that Ellie's suffering is not for naught. God has a purpose and a plan to redeem it somehow for His glory. And it is my prayer that there are eyes there in New York (and indeed all over the world) that need to see Jesus. And that watching you all through this experience, they will see HIM in your suffering, in your faith, and in your spirit of service to Him and to your precious Ellie. May many come to know him personally, individually, and eternally through all of this! God bless you all!

At 8:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It absolutely amazes me (though it should not) how you all are in my thoughts and prayers all day long. I was up last night quite a bit with a sick child and while comforting him I prayed for Ellie and for you Sarah. You are incredible. You simply must write a book someday.

We will continue to pray for you and love you from here.

At 8:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow. i have been praying SO hard for little Ellie. and i lift her up many times a day. the recent time i prayed, i just started crying...and i said to God "your God, and you can do ANYTHING out of the reach of our ability" and God has little Ellie in the palm of his hand. helping her through every struggle she has. i just wanted to tell you how beautiful she is and that im praying for her EVERY day. she means alot...
In Christ..

At 8:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You share your heart with us in such a way that we are getting to know you and God's wonderful grace in a better way. We thought you were really going through it before, but up in NYC you have been through even deeper waters. We as a family are singing your songs along with you, praying with you and believing God to perform His perfect will in your lives. We love Ellie.
Ken & Carleen Newton

At 9:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for having the courage to write.

Your photo is beautiful -- the father's protective hand, the mother's quiet strength, and your baby girl leaning into you, feeling the security of a family's love. She is so blessed to have the two of you!

At 10:46 PM, Blogger ~T said...

Your thoughts are always so touching to me... and I agree that you could write a very meaningful book.

Praying fervently in Texas~

Terri, Tricia's friend

For I know the plans I have for you... Jer 29:11

At 12:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for your updates! Lifting Ellie and your family before His throne of grace continually! Sarah, somehow when I pray for you guys this song keeps popping into my mind...
'His strength is perfect,
when our strength is gone
He'll CARRY us
when we can't carry on
raised in HIS power the weak become strong
His strength is perfect'

Praying His strength would be perfect for you today in all you are going through! I am so glad you were able to have some special 'mommy' time with Ellie!

At 1:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We will not stop praying you through this. In our weakness HE is our strength. You are all such a testimony to His love and comfort. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

At 1:16 AM, Anonymous kristen miller said...

When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby. - John 11:4

That's probably something you've heard a lot recently and maybe hardly need to hear again, but I read that verse everyday and it still gets me. I love you all so much. Ya'll are unbelievable and we are right there with you, thank you so much for taking the time to write to us these past few days. It means so much, and you have touched more people than you know. I love you!

At 6:06 AM, Blogger mcovington1 said...

Skees family - Continuing to lift you all up before "our God who sees". Thank you for sharing about something so deeply personal and difficult. Ex 9:16 "But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Praying for strength and comfort for you all today.
Mollie, Doylestown, PA (friend of the Newtons)

At 7:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

thnaks for sharing your heart with us all. you are such a testimony to all.i cant help but cry every time i read your words and think of ellie. i just came across a picture of ellie when jaime and i renewed our vows at lake howell. she was standing next to the table with the cake and she had the biggest cutest smile on her face. i always look at that picture and laugh and cry. my heart goes out to you and the wole family and we will continue to pray each and everyday. "GOD IS LOVE" love the simons family

At 8:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah, you never cease to amaze me with your strength and courage. I am so glad that John has been able to be there with you. We are praying for Ellie, and your whole family, several times a day. God does not give us more than we can handle, and he obviously knows how strong you are. Speaking as a mom, I cannot imagine the pain you have endured. I know you will continue on in your mom "warrior" mode. Ellie is such a tough little girl, and so blessed to be in such good hands there, and ultimately in God's loving hands. May you continue to find strength and peace in His loving presence.
-Jen Lay and family

At 8:04 AM, Blogger Julie said...

Sarah and John,
Our love and paryers are with you all day long. I fall asleep thingking and praying for you and when I wake it is among the first thoughts.
Romans 11:36 For of him, and through him, and to him, are ALL things: to whom be the GLORY forever. Amen. (emphasis mine)

At 8:30 AM, Anonymous David and Kristen Burson said...

Kristen and I were reading in Ps. 69 last night and thought of you guys. Of course, we've been thinking of you and praying for you throughout the day for quite awhile now! We wanted to share this with you:

Ps. 69 starts with:

Save me, O God, For the waters have threatened my life. I have sunk in deep mire, and there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and a flood overflows me. I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched; My eyes fail while I wait for my God...

and this section from the end, starting in vs. 30:

I will praise the name of God with song And magnify Him with thanksgiving. And it will please the LORD better than an ox Or a young bull with horns and hoofs. The humble have seen it and are glad; You who seek God, let your heart revive. For the LORD hears the needy And does not despise His who are prisoners.

In addition to praying for Ellie and everyone on the team, we are praying that those around you who have not trusted Christ will see the glory of God which is so evident in your posts and and be drawn to trust Him as you do.

With all our love,
David and Kristen

At 8:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Sarah,
I have been reading all along about sweet Ellie & have so much in my heart to say but will try to keep it short. Our prayer & Bible study group are praying for you too. At this time we are studying Daniel. Anyway in the book of Daniel is the story of the trial by fire & it made me think of you & your family. There are 3 different scenarios in this in that we can be deivered from the fire,(our faith is built) we can be delivered through the fire (our faith is refined) & we can be delivered by the fire straight into His arms (our faith is perfected). You all have stepped up to testify your faith with all that is going on in your life & I know you have been an inspiration for all familes who are going through such hardships. We remember the vibrant& laughable Ellie when you all came to Mt. Dora for a visit. You all are in our prayers here in Mt. Dora. God bless you all. Sue Skees

At 9:43 AM, Blogger luckyduck said...

Sarah, John, and family,
You are an amazing family of faith, strength, and love. Continue to perservere as we all pray for you and precious Ellie. May Gods light always shine through your darkness.
With love and prayers,

At 10:13 AM, Blogger Oregon Criss's said...

We are praying, praying, praying!!!!
~Debi in Oregon~

At 10:57 AM, Blogger c.g. said...

Give ear to my words, O Lord,
consider my sighing.
Listen to my cry for help,
my King and my God,
for to you I pray. Psalms

"Hide me, O my Savior, hide me
In Thy holy place;
Resting there beneath Thy glory,
O let me see Thy face.

Hide me, hide me,
O blessèd Savior, hide me;
O Savior, keep me,
Safely, O Lord, with Thee.

Hide me, when the storm is raging
O’er life’s troubled sea;
Like a dove on ocean’s billows,
O let me fly to Thee.

Hide me, when my heart is breaking
With its weight of woe;
When in tears I seek the comfort
Thou canst alone bestow."

Continuing to pray for strength for each moment.

At 11:15 AM, Anonymous Jamie E said...

Thank you, Sarita, for your expressions of love so clearly communicated through your words. Yes, I received your email this morning and then brought the site up to read. You have always been special in the way you write and speak, you know that I pray for you, John, and Ellie often. There is not words to describe the incredible feeling, as I read, of being transported to the room and to sit there with you, John, and Ellie. I find myself leaning over and whispering words of encouragement into Ellie's ears, feeling her breathing, and her fingers wrapping themselves around my hand. God is allowing us to experience this together with you, by His Grace. Thank you, my little sister. Love, Jamie

At 11:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We do not know each other but I learned of Ellie's and your story through a prayer request on the adoption board I frequent! Please know that mine and many other reader's prayers are with your family this very minute! You have a beautiful gift for words and your latest post just brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for sharing your pain with all of us. I pray that in so doing you will feel some of that pain lifted as we try to share your burden.

May God bless you and be with you through this painful time in your life! Remember, that through Him ALL things are possible!

Peace and Prayers

At 11:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm listening to a song by Chris Tomlin & Steven Curtis Chapman right now, and cying out to our Abba to continue to comfort and sustain you, and Ellie. Your testimony of God's grace in your life is beautiful!

Unfailing Love
(C. Tomlin & S.C. Chapman)

You have my heart
And I am Yours forever
You are my strength
God of grace and power

And everything
You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand

Praise You God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
You never change, God, You remain
The Holy One and my unfailing love
Unfailing love

You are my rock
The One I hold on to
You are my song
And I sing for You

And everything
You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand

Praise You God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
You never change, God, You remain
The Holy One and my unfailing love
Unfailing love

"You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?" Psalm 56:8

Love and prayers, Dana C (Camdenton)

At 11:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My world stands still as I sit to read of Ellie, I shed the tears & fall on my knees to pray for her & your family!!! You will all be in my thoughts & prayers throughout this Easter weekend - I will lift you all up to our powerful & faithful Heavenly Father!! God Bless you & give you strength ~ In Christ Jesus, Stacia & family

At 1:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You all are in our hearts and in our prayers. May the Lord continue to give you comfort.

A family in St.Petersburg,Fl

At 2:21 PM, Anonymous Jill Heins said...

Prayers...Love...and Hugs from Minnesota..

For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
2 Corinthians 1:5

Love, Jill

At 2:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Read your latest entry in tears.
Wanted to send you a poem that was so needed by me when my Larry was so sick.


Child of My love, Lean Hard,
And let Me feel the pressure of thy care;
I know thy burden, child, I shaped it;
Poised it in My own hand, made no proportion in its weight to thine undaided strength;
For even as I laid it on, I said
I shall be near, and while they lean on Me,
This burden shall be Mine, not theirs;
So shall I keep My child within the circling arms of My own love.
Here lay it down, nor fear to impose it on a shoulder which upholds the govenrnment of worlds.
Yet closer come; Thou are not near enough;
I would embrace thy care so I might feel My child reposing on My breast.
Thou lovest Me? I knew it. Doubt not then;
But, loving Me, Lean Hard.

Just read a couple reasons for the hardness of life's circumstances: the first is for the caregivers (you two) to learn deeply from Him, and the second is for the testimony that you and Ellie show to the world. God is revealing Himself thru you to those around you. Thank you for being vessels that He can use - tears and all.

Praying so much for you. Was glad Ginger got to be with you. Her update gave more fuel for prayer. You have all been much on my heart.

Love and prayers,
Nancy H.


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