We have had a good day home. Ethan had been staying at Mom and Gary's house during this trip to the hospital, so they let him stay over last night too, which enabled us to sleep in this morning!! It was wonderful. I got absolutely nothing done today, which was fine since it will take more than a day to get the house back under control again. I take that back...I got a shower...that counts, right? John had to work a little today, and Ellie was at Stan and Pat's (there was a better chance of her eating well there today, since I'm not sure when I last went grocery shopping) so I decided to risk leaving Ethan unsupervised in the house while I showered. Given the state of things in the house, there was really not that much damage that he could do. I was right...the house fared just fine, but I wish I could say the same for Buzz Lightyear - I found him in the toilet when I got out. Isn't that what happens to all toys when they misbehave? I figure that's better than finding Ethan in the toilet, which has happend before...but that's another story...
We had to make a trip to a store this evening, so we decided to take Ethan along and get some dinner out. Things have been crazy lately and it's not often that Ethan gets good time with both John and me at the same time. It was so neat to watch John and Ethan together! At the gas station, Ethan had to get out and pump gas with his dad, and I could hear John explaining to him where to stand and what to do, and why...John gives very detailed explanations. When we got to the store, just walking in holding each of our hands made Ethan giggle with happiness. Once inside, he rode in the cart, chattering all the while. Next we went to the restaurant. Ordinarily we are wary of eating out with Ethan because it's like trying to eat while being stuck in a washing machine that's set on spin! Tonight was no exception to the rule, but several moments made it so very worth it. As we were waiting to be seated, John was holding Ethan in one arm and I was leaning against his other elbow. Ethan reached over and put an arm around my neck, with his other arm still around John and pulled us together with his little head in between and said "I love our family!" Once seated, he kept saying "I'm so glad I'm home" over and over in a sing-song voice. My heart was full watching the two of them with their matching buzz haircuts go through the salad bar. When they came back to the table, Ethan hugged his daddy's arm and said "You're my friend Daddy...are you my friend?" John said "I sure am, Buddy" and Ethan replied "I will be your friend for ever and ever!" It was enough to fill my heart to the very top...despite the fact that by the end of the meal I was exhausted and dizzy from being caught in the spin cycle too long.
And this is the realization that hits me tonight. This is our life. There are times of pain and fear... medicine to take... time spent away from each other... mundane chores... never being caught up - on anything... tears... laughter...an 8 year old who makes wise statements and logical choices... and foolish ones... a son who falls apart over nothing... but says "I love our family"... Buzz Lightyear in the toilet... hospital visits... a fresh breeze on the face... no sleep... falling asleep in the big bed all together... a daddy who works long hours, but snuggles you to sleep. Our life is not perfect, nor is it easy - but it has texture. Our highs are as big as our lows, and combined with all of the silly and crazy things in between it forms the tapestry that is our life. I think that our tapestry is incredible - the colors and textures are vivid and strong, and it is...OURS.