We will always remember Ellie for her love for others, her creativity, sensitivity, and delight in life! Ellie's light has spread far and wide... may it continue to shine in our hearts.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Re: Your Comments!

Thank you all for the comments on the last post... your encouragement does wonders for my spirit! It was a little draining to see it all laid out from beginning to so-called end. It still feels like we have many miles left to go, but hopefully more behind than ahead... hopefully.

One good question was posed about Ellie having completed 10 of the 14 radiation treatments to her head. Giving Ellie the remaining 4 treatments this far past the previous 10 would not gain any real positive results - the whole point of the excercise is the cumulative effect of all 14 treatments in close succession. And re-doing all 14 would be too dangerous given the fact that she has had 10 already. At least that's my understanding of it - I hope it makes sense.

And to the Buhls in Texas: Ellie says that it would be great to have a baby goat named after her. (She was quite pleased!) She has requested a picture "but only once it has fur on it". (Then she amended it to a request for one picture before and one after the fur is on it.) I'm sure that you can tell by that comment that she is not a country girl!

And in other news... Ellie has a friend! There is a new girl and her mom - new to Sloan Kettering and to the house. Also new to cancer. Her cancer is different than Ellie's, but similar (if not greater) in severity. They live directly across the hall from us. The little girl is 10. Ellie is in seventh heaven having a girl close to her age to play with. At this time I don't feel free to give out any information - even first names of the girl and her mother - as they are very private in sharing (even to their own close family members). They are from another country and English is not their first language (their fourth language, actually) but they get along wonderfully, I think. The mother is exactly my age and today I discovered that we met our husbands the same year - half a world apart. Her husband and younger daugther have not come here yet. When I see people like this, I feel like such a wimp. I have the gall to actually feel tired and overwhelmed when I have my husband with me and share the same language with my docors, and have a home only a few hours by plane away. Of all the nerve! This is a new experience for me, as I have been very leery about getting too close to people here - really letting them in. I've felt as if my heart cannot take getting too personally involved with other's pain. But as the days pass, this family is getting in. In spite of my guarded heart and in spite of the language barrier... they are becomming close. I will just have to leave my heart in God's keeping and trust that He will take care of it. Even though I get scared and want to hide in my room sometimes, there has been a certain amout of comfort for me in the friendship already. Sometimes we have to resort to careful explanations and gesturing to express ourselves, but other times we can say a lot with one look... Sometimes words are not required - we look at our little girls when they are too tired to play and are just reclining near each other and we simply know. And I am hoping that in God's perfect time and way, He might use us to convey some of His comfort to this precious family.

Thank you all again for praying and standing with us in such love and care. This whole thing is dragging on so long... I can't help but wonder how you are able to stay with us and not grow weary in your love and prayers. It just seems like too much. I know that you have lives of your own and I'm sure do not enjoy being reminded constantly of pain and suffering (especially in a child). I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am touched by your faithfulness. I know my own selfish heart and how easy it would be, were I in your shoes, to simply close my eyes and forget... And yet you don't. I am overwhelmed. We are so blessed.


At 11:56 PM, Blogger c.g. said...

Dear Sarah,

Have added this family and new friend of Ellie's to my prayers.

You have a very tender heart but also you have a strength that has shown through during this very difficult time. Your words have touched so many hearts as you have written about your journey through Ellie's illness.

I know you will be a blessing to this new family so far from their home.

"I can't help but wonder how you are able to stay with us and not grow weary in your love and prayers."

Prayer is not a load to be carried but a gift to be enjoyed.
Prayer makes the darkened clouds withdraw;
Prayer climbs the ladder Jacob saw;
Gives exercise to faith and love,
Brings every blessing from above. - Leonard Ravenhill

What a privilege to pray - and especially what a blessing to pray for you.

Thank you for being so faithful to Him.

At 7:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Lord is really working in Ellie's body ! I'm so glad things are going better than they were a month ago! God is good and He DOES answer prayer! We will keep praying for Ellie and her treatments and all of you that are working so faithfully to care for her every need. God has blessed all of you with a wonderful family!


At 7:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah we are your family, and that is what families do. We are with you.

Ryan prays that Ellie can come home so that they can play DS together.


At 10:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sarah,
You do not know me, but I am a cousin to Michelle Skees, Jared's wife. I look every day for your posts. My heart goes out to you and your family. I think about you all of the time and what you are going through. I could never and would never tire of hearing what you have to share. For myself, I feel that it would be very selfish of me not to be able to read about this when you and so many others are actually having to live it.

Take care of yourself and know there are many people cheering you on!!!

Buckley, Washington

At 11:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Sarah,

We are not growing weary of reading your blog or praying for Ellie and your whole family. No way! In fact, I look forward to your posts now more than ever, Ellie's name is getting 'known' around here as I share your updates with my family. It is a blessing to us to pray for Ellie and your family. We wish it wasn't under these circumstances and I am so sorry that you all have to bear so much.

I am so glad Loretta, Reni and their mother and Mike and came into our lives and shared about little Ellie to us. That is what the body of Christ is all about....a family that help shoulder the burden.

Your posts have lifted and encouraged me so much that I almost feel guilty because you and Ellie, John, Ethan and all your family members are the ones who need the encouragement the most.

God bless you all...you are awesome!

At 9:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

we love and care for all of you vey much and are thankful that you share everything with us. you are such a witness and an example and we feel so blessed to be able to share your hurt and your joy with you and to pray for you all. you are an encouragement to so many people. we are all Gods family when one of us hurts we all hurt and need to rely on one another for comfort. and we also should share in the joy as well. we continue to keep you all in our hearts. always praying. love simons family

At 1:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, We are praying for you here.

I read about the things you are going though and I feel like such a whimp.

Really you are not being a whimp at all. You encourage me.
love, Ruth


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