We will always remember Ellie for her love for others, her creativity, sensitivity, and delight in life! Ellie's light has spread far and wide... may it continue to shine in our hearts.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Reflections...

... on being a year older. Today I turn 37. I almost didn't post today, but I have this need to somehow mark the special days in life. And if I'm totally honest, I still feel like a little girl who just loves her birthday. I always have and I just don't seem to be growing out of it!

I was thinking back to how I felt when I turned 21. I was so happy because that was the day that John and I got engaged. We went and picked up my engagement ring just before my party and I was able to show it off to all of the family gathered. I think of how I have changed from that girl. At that time I don't think that I fully understood how flawed I really was, but at the same time I wasn't very confident. I have to admit that even 30 pounds heavier and 16 years worth of "character" added to my face, I am much more content with myself now. I think that the biggest difference is that then I was becoming who I was, but now I know who I am. I know that I am completely and hopelessly flawed, but completely and eternally loved. I don't live with the kind of fear that I used to. Then, I had a very real sense of God and His ability to help in times of need, but now I know God. On a physical level, now I know that outer beauty is so much more than fitting into a size 6 jeans. I think, and hope, that I have found the balance between accepting the things that I can't change (or can't change without astronomical effort) and making the most of what I have, and have learned how to project on the outside the me that lives on the inside. Everyone knows that women strive to be beautiful. We are known for picking ourselves apart and trying to look "perfect." But I don't think that's it. I think that what most women want, is to look in the mirror and say "this is the real me." Because the perfectly proportioned, thin, young women out there often don't feel as beautiful as, well... I do.

Now I've left myself very little time go get ready for work... Oh well. Today I'm going to step out of character a bit and wear comfortable shoes. It's my birthday and I intend to feel good and be happy! :-) I have too many hours on the clock this week so I actually get to go in late (after meeting John for breakfast) and get off early! I get to have lunch with a good friend. And I get to top off the day by going out to Mom and Gary's tonight for dinner with the family. What a happy, happy day!

19 Comments:

At 6:55 AM, Anonymous Mema in SC said...

Happy Birthday! Enjoy yourself and your identity in Christ.

 
At 6:59 AM, Blogger oneofhisfriends said...

hb

gotta catch a bus

 
At 7:55 AM, Blogger Jamie Cusimano said...

Party on and 40 is not too shabby!

 
At 8:19 AM, Blogger Erin said...

Happy birthday, Sarah!!!

 
At 8:20 AM, Anonymous Darla said...

Happy Birthday!

 
At 9:11 AM, Blogger Allison said...

Happy Birthday Sarah. I hope you have a great day, and your right, I'm 31 and I still get excited on my birthday and want to be treated extra special. God Bless- Allison

 
At 9:49 AM, Blogger LindaSueBuhl said...

Happy Birthday Sarah - you have indeed come a long way and it is a blessing to see the steps and growth - I always think your pictures show a beautiful woman and the one refelcted in John's eyes definitely takes his breath away. Enjoy - comfy shoes are a good thing!

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger Becky K. said...

Happy Birthday, Sarah!

How sweet that you got to have breakfast with John today.

Getting older definitely has perks...wisdom, perspective and comfy shoes when we feel like it!
(smile)

Becky K.
Hospitality Lane

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger c.g. said...

One of my favorite quotes on beauty comes from Helen Keller:

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart."

Sarah:

"making the most of what I have, and have learned how to project on the outside the me that lives on the inside."

Very wise.

May you have a wonderful birthday!!!

 
At 2:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Sarah! Hope your day is as beautiful as you are! God bless. Tabitha

 
At 7:19 PM, Anonymous Melissa Pflug said...

Happy Birthday, Sarah. As always, you have such a beautiful way of expressing yourself.

 
At 9:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday! How great is it to know that you can get older and wiser (hopefully!) and know that there are people who love you for you! Give John and Ethan BIG hugs and kisses and enjoy your day :-)


I am looking forward to reading your mom's new book...but would like to ask...When are you going to write yours??? You have such a gift with words. Happy day beautiful lady! Wendy (from California)

 
At 8:36 AM, Blogger Mrs.Rabe said...

Sarah,

What a beautiful way to express the wisdom you have gained about yourself image and of your knowing yourself!
Thank you for that!

Happy late Birthday - hope it was smashing!

Deanna Rabe

 
At 5:57 AM, Blogger Amy said...

We are the same age! I'm glad you had a lovely birthday and thanks for your very encouraging words about inner and outer beauty.

 
At 3:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah,

Happy Belated Birthday to you! I pray that your day was wonderful.... What an insightful post that was. Great advice for all of us :) Keeping you in our prayers as Ellie's day approaches.

May HIS love and strength continue to surround your family.

Love,
Gena Haviland

 
At 3:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Belated birthday wishes Sarah. 37 - you just a kid yourself. I know when I look at your picture I see physical beauty in your face; and the inward beauty that you have and shows outward also!! I'm sure you had a great day. How could you not with 3 meals out with family/friends. Love for a wonderful year. Gerry

 
At 7:56 PM, Blogger oneofhisfriends said...

Hi Sarah,

You make 37 seem like the new 29.

Agapé

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger pk said...

Happy to you and as always you are a blessing to many. hugs all around

 
At 4:14 PM, Blogger Ellie said...

Happy Birthday a bit late. Hey, you're exactly nine days older than me!

 

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