We will always remember Ellie for her love for others, her creativity, sensitivity, and delight in life! Ellie's light has spread far and wide... may it continue to shine in our hearts.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Merry Christmas to All!

I just wanted to wish you all a merry Christmas. (Assuming anyone out there will be reading this in the next couple of days...I know that I probably won't get back to the computer until Tuesday...) Thank you all for your well-wishes this holiday - it has already been a special time for us, and so far promises to be a wonderful Christmas for our family. I will post pictures next week.

Ellie is doing very well right now. Yesterday's transfusions left her with more color in her face and some more energy. She doesn't have any more nausea, but she also doesn't have a very strong appetite at the moment.

A couple of days ago Ellie and I were alone in the house and she was having a difficult day. Everything seemed to irritate her and she didn't respond well to my encouragements to eat, drink, etc... I was telling John's aunt Loretta (in Montana) about it over the phone and she came up with the thought that Ellie was probably going through what I (and others of us who are "in the trenches" so to speak) have been going through lately...the feeling that we just want our lives back. (Where's the 'easy button' when you need it? - you know: "I'm all done...thanks for playing...bye-bye now!" and *poof* life is all back to normal.) So I sat down next to Ellie when the opportunity presented itself and said "I can tell that you're having kind of a hard time today, and I was just wondering if you are wishing that you're life was back to what it was before you had cancer - going to school and seeing your friends and stuff." Her eyes immediately filled up with tears and her face just crumpled. She quietly nodded and leaned her head forward until it rested on my chest. I told her that I had cried some for the exact same reason and that it was o.k. to cry about it...that sometimes it even makes you feel better. We just snuggled and talked for a few minutes and she cried a little, but not a big heartbroken kind of cry. The moment passed and the day went much better. It was such a good experience for me, because I forget sometimes that she is capable of feeling some of the exact same things that grown-ups are, but she doesn't understand why she feels the way she does. If I would take the time every once in a while to think about how I feel, then imagine how it must be in her shoes, I can hopefully help her through some of these things. I'm just extremely thankful to have people (especially Loretta) who look out for us...we could never get through this on our own and stay sane, or keep Ellie sane!

Tonight while we were eating supper, there was a knock on the door and a group of people (that we know) were caroling on our porch. We took the kids out to listen. Ethan leaned in really close to John and said "Daddy, I'm feeling a little nervous..." So John knelt close and cuddled him during the singing. It was so nice to see the familiar faces and hear the wonderful Christmas music. Ellie listened quietly, then smiled and waved as the group left. The moment we got back into the house, I looked at her face and she was smiling from ear to ear! She had been so reserved as the people sang, but once inside Ellie could barely contain herself - she started laughing and tried to tickle me, and she just could not stop smiling! Later in the evening Ellie was humming and singing as she played in her room. She has had a good day overall today, but there was a very striking joy and peace in her heart this evening.

I pray that the wonderful joy of Christmas will be with you over the next couple of days wherever you are and whatever you are going through. There is nothing better in the whole world to be celebrating than the day our Savior came to Earth as a tiny helpless baby...it is especially poignant to me this year that He would choose to come and experience all of the heartache and pain in this life BEFORE sacrificing His life to save me from my sins! As if it wasn't enough to save my soul, He had to actually experience all of the heartbreaks that I do and be able to not just know, but UNDERSTAND my heart - it just blows me away!

7 Comments:

At 2:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Always checking in and always thinking of you guys!!! Merry Christmas! Love, Leslie

 
At 9:21 PM, Anonymous Nancy said...

I enjoy reading your blog so much! Thanks for the honesty and reality of life! I have never met you or your family, but me and my family pray for you at night at bedtime and ask the Lord for strength for your family. We attend Central Baptist Church in Sanford, so I had some of the children make & sign a special Christms card just for Ellie, I took it to Esther @ NTM and she said she would give it to Stan. I hope you receive it for Christmas. My wish is for your family to have a "normal" Christmas this year and to celebrate the birth of Jesus! May God continue to grant you the strength needed daily.

 
At 10:11 PM, Anonymous Sarah said...

Thanks Leslie! We hope that your family enjoyes a wonderful Christmas as well. :-)

Nancy: Thanks so much. Ellie did receive the card and she loved it. Thank the children for us and tell them how much Ellie appreciated it. Thanks for all of your prayers. Have a wonderful Christmas.

 
At 3:38 AM, Blogger Sean Spence said...

Hey Ellie & Leslie,

I want to wish you a happy holiday. Your blog means a lot to folks out there, and reaches a whole new group every day through SharingOurDays.com. I honestly believe that the time we take to communicate our lives is having a big effect on people around the world. You are making a difference.

All the best (however we need to define that) today and every day.

- sean

Sean Spence
www.SharingOurDays.com
www.MissouriToManhattan.com
seanspence@earthlink.net

 
At 6:29 AM, Anonymous Sarah said...

Thanks Sean! I appreciate the encouragement, and I'm glad if God's grace can somehow touch other's lives through our experiences. I hope you have a great Christmas! - Sarah

 
At 8:10 AM, Blogger tricia said...

Merry Christmas Sarah!!! Love you!

 
At 9:53 AM, Anonymous Sarah said...

Merry Christmas Tricia! Love you too!!

 

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