Today is Thanksgiving Day in the Skees Household
Hi again. (In case I have thrown you all off - I'm a night owl by nature so I generally post late at night, but now that we are in a different routine, morning seems to be my new schedule.) I thought I wouldn't be posting this weekend, but I just couldn't stay away. Before Ellie had cancer we just used to go from day to day and live our lives - often missing so many little special things. Now I find that as I live, I'm filing away little tidbits to recount to you all later. I'm starting to pay more attention to the little things and view our life through your eyes.
These days John and I have existed trying to meet whichever need seems the greatest - be at the hospital with Ellie; play with Ethan; and for John it's been the juggling act of work, drive to the hospital, drive to Ethan, bring stuff, meet my emotional needs...and often fall into an exhausted sleep next to me on a twin sized hospital cot. Yesterday I could see the wear of the past two weeks all over his face after he finished doing some work in the morning and was at our house preparing to come to his parents house and do battle with Ethan. I brought John some coffee and realized that the biggest need in our family right now was his. I drove back to Stan and Pat's and said "as long as you guys are doing fine here, I think that we will just see you around supper time..." and that's exactly what we did. I never thought that spending time with John would be such a luxury - I used to take it for granted. I've always enjoyed leaving the kids and taking time for ourselves - it seemed even before that it was never enough. Now, even though it was just one afternoon, we gratefully enjoyed every moment of being together. We borrowed Stan's motorcyle and went for a long ride. Years ago we had a motorcycle and used to enjoy taking long rides, and this time it felt like the years just melted away as we rode. The weather has FINALLY turned cool, so it was just perfect!
As we rode, I couldn't shake the feeling that riding the motorcycle felt so much like life. When I started riding with John years ago I had a lot of trouble in the turns. When the bike would lean, every impulse in me was to fight it. I would get this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that the bike was going to just tip right over. I knew in my head that John was a great driver and there was no way that he would let me fall, but my stomach disagreed! I finally figured it out. If I would lean close to John, lead with my head in the direction of the turn (sometimes even close my eyes), and just leave it in John's hands, all would be well. It struck me on this particular ride that when difficult things happen, all I have to do is lean so close to God that I can hear his hearbeat and when things feel really wrong just lead with my head!
O.K, I'm done waxing philisophical (sometimes I just can't help myself). Today's agenda is a little church service with the family and Thanksgiving dinner. The day is already off to a great start - the kids woke us up and we had a family snuggle in bed (although, as John says, with Ethan it's like snuggling a washing machine).
I hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving. Today I am thankful that we do not have to go through the struggles of life alone - that we have all of you to share in our burdens and our joys! Thank you.