Procedure Day

I'm sitting in the hospital...Ellie is having her bone marrow biopsies right now. John is in there with her, but I always chicken out and leave just before they start - once she's sleepy enough to not miss me. As I sit here, my prayers are more with John than Ellie. She won't remember any of it, but John will - and he hates watching her go through this. To make matters worse, John has had this same procedure done before - WITHOUT any drugs! My stomach hurts just thinking about it.

Last night as Ellie went to sleep, we were talking about today, and she started reminding me to bring this or that (things that I really would have forgotten without my responsible little first-born's foresight). She started asking questions about the procedure - what other things they might do, like dressing change, etc. She doesn't remember last time - how they changed her dressing and how she took the heart monitor stickers off herself. I told her how she kept asking the same questions over and over as she was coming out of it. She got hysterical (laughing) as I told her about it. Finally Ellie settled down. She wanted to sleep in her pink princess tent (that Stan and Pat got her on New Year's Eve), so we were lying on her bedroom floor in her tent and I started rubbing her little nearly bald head as we listened to music. I think that she was sound asleep when a beautiful song came on that I have heard before, but listened to this time with new ears.

Hold on to Jesus
Erin O'Donnell

You're a little piece of heaven, a golden ray of light
And I wish I could protect you from the worries of this life
But if there's one thing I could tell you, it's no matter what you do
Hold to Jesus - He's holding on to you.

The world will try to tell you that might is more than right
That beauty's on the outside and being good's a loosing fight
But remember what I've told you, because the world will make you choose
Hold to Jesus - He's holding on to you.

Hold on to Jesus, and cling to His love
Rest deep in His mercies whenever things get rough
Don't lose sight of His goodness and don't ever doubt this truth
That when you hold on to Jesus he's holding on to you.

Hear me dear Jesus, rock this little one to sleep
Keep her close when she's scared and give her strength when she is weak
I know she'll stumble, but I know she'll make it through
If You hold on to her just like you said You'd do
Hold her Jesus and she'll hold on tight to you.