We will always remember Ellie for her love for others, her creativity, sensitivity, and delight in life! Ellie's light has spread far and wide... may it continue to shine in our hearts.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

My heart is "making noise"

I'm sorry for the lapse in posting. We are alive... I am feeling better and I guess I've just been busier than I was. Now that I'm feeling better physically, some of the emotions that I've put on the back burner are starting to surface. It's o.k., just a little overwhelming. I spent the first couple of weeks feeling mostly numb. Now the numbness is wearing off and I don't think I like it! You know the feeling you get when your foot falls asleep. That's not so bad until feeling returns - oh the pain! Sometimes it feels better to whack it a bit, but I might get some funny looks if I start beating my head against the wall. So for now I ride out the pain cycle and pray. (Rabbit trail: When Ellie was a toddler she woke up from a nap and realized that her hands were asleep. She had never experiened this before and I came in to find her staring at her hands in wonder. She looked up at me with wide eyes and said "Mommy, my hands are making noise.")

Ellie is doing o.k. Her counts are finally a little better, but not overly high. It is possible for her counts to struggle for some time after radiation, so it's no big surprise. Her appetite has lagged a little over the past couple of days, but so far her weight is a stable 45 pounds.

I just wanted to check in. I'll get back to you again... hopefully soon. Thanks so much for all of your sweet comments over this past week. We love you all.

3 Comments:

At 5:02 AM, Blogger LindaSueBuhl said...

You express poignantly the sensation of going through the cancer/major illness valley. The numb thing feels kind of safe (this is the voice of experience - doggone it) Sorry that it hurts and wish we could take that pain away from you. Will continue to pray for your family and ask for special attention to that noisy heart.

 
At 6:51 AM, Blogger oneofhisfriends said...

Hi Skees,

Very glad that you're getting your strength back.

Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.
For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:14-16

Agapé

 
At 3:07 PM, Blogger Sheila said...

We'll be praying for you.
God bless,
Sheila

 

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