We will always remember Ellie for her love for others, her creativity, sensitivity, and delight in life! Ellie's light has spread far and wide... may it continue to shine in our hearts.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Quick Hello...

I'm sorry I haven't blogged much recently. I just wanted to post and let you know that John made it home safely. He had a good trip, but is exhausted. Tomorrow starts his three days of work, so he's got to hit the ground running! His company just laid off a bunch of workers, but John hasn't been called about it, so we're hoping no news is good news. He will find out tomorrow I guess.

I was asked to share my testimony today at a Bible Study I've been going to. The teacher of that study also teaches two times on Fridays to different groups of women, so she's asked me to share at those tomorrow as well. I much prefer writing to speaking, but I felt like God has given me a story to share, so I'm doing it. Typically I get extremely nervous, but this time I did not get nearly so anxious. I think I've finally reached the point in life where such things just don't matter as much. There are too many other important things in life that outweigh the fear of what other people think. So I have approached this exercise fairly pragmatically. I carefully came up with an outline and have been thinking and praying for weeks about what God would have me share. Despite my uncharacteristic calmness, I knew that I would not be able to speak with great eloquence or proficiency. I just figured that it could be termed a success if I managed to get the point across.

There was one factor that I did not consider. Hormones. Please pardon my indelicacy in referring to such things in mixed company, but this is a very real fact of life that has a deep impact on my normally easy going and unemotional self. In this case, a sudden and unwelcome attack of PMS sent all logic and planning screaming from the room. Seriously. There was nothing I could do about it, so I went in to the Bible study armed with boxes of tissues and loads of chocolate. And I unleashed it all on a room full of unsuspecting women. It was not pretty. I cried almost from the moment I started speaking until I ended. And I don't mean dab-at-the-eyes now and then crying. I mean nose-blowing, makeup-running, gut-wrenching crying. And that was just me. Those poor women spent so much time wiping their own eyes that I don't think they managed to choke down much of the chocolate. And guess what? I get to do it all over again tomorrow. Twice. Heaven help us all! Do you think it's possible that I discharged enough emotion today that I won't be able to cry tomorrow? (Don't answer that.)

Tonight I feel like a wet noodle that has been repeated flung around the room and slapped against the wall. My eyes burn and my head is thinking about hurting. But it's too tired to put in the energy it would take to work up a good headache. John is sound asleep on the couch. And Ethan is running in and out of the room like a toy that has been wound up good and tight. We are just waiting for him to run out of steam so that we can all go to bed. I'm thinking I can start getting Ethan ready for bed in about 18 minutes (not that I'm counting).

I hope you all have a good night. There are several people out there that I owe emails to. You know who you are. I will respond eventually. Maybe even tomorrow if I'm not in a coma.

Sleep well. Lots of love,


At 8:35 PM, Anonymous Darla said...

wow Sarah you are constantly amazing me. I think the writing would be easier. Will be praying for you tomorrow. It never ceases to amaze me where God takes us next.

At 5:25 AM, Blogger LindaSueBuhl said...

Oh dear sweet friend - The Lord is using your pain to jar someone loose from complacency. Or at the very least - teach them how to share the kleenex and chocolates! Glad John is home - we are praying for his job situation. Pesky lil' hormones! Be gentle with yourself and know you are prayed for.

At 10:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Sarah,

What a gift you are to so many. One day the Lord will show you just how many lives have been changed by Ellie and your precious family! I loved the bedtime comment :) Take care and you will be in our prayers.

The Haviland's

At 3:10 PM, Blogger Amy said...

I would be exactly the same! I don't even need the hormones, I'm just a good crier. Isn't it great how God is using you though!

At 3:58 PM, Blogger iphotographu said...

Sarah, you are such a beautiful woman. I admire your courage and strength. You speak to me without being present, just through your words and family. Through the grace of God, keep speaking and writing. I need you. Your bloggers need you!!!! (if that's the correct term?)

At 7:47 PM, Blogger Jamie Cusimano said...

John, Sarah & Ethan,

We just returned from what may be the final night shuttle launch. I thought of the video of Ellie, John & Grandpa Stan watching the shuttle take off and Ellie's little giggle. Thank you for enriching our lives with the sharing of yours. Love, Jamie

At 8:25 PM, Anonymous heather said...


I am just catching up on your blog from the last week or so...your writing is amazing. Please publish something soon!!! I miss you so much and love to hear your updates!

love, heather


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