We will always remember Ellie for her love for others, her creativity, sensitivity, and delight in life! Ellie's light has spread far and wide... may it continue to shine in our hearts.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Speaking of the Dead

Hi! Thanks for praying for John's trip. He made it safely to Florida and is spending a few days there with family and friends. He flies home on Thursday. Ethan and I are definitely ready to have John home!

Ethan has seemed to level out some. At the end of one particularly long and difficult day, he was happily playing with me in the living room. He kind of randomly threw this statement out: "When I was in the bathroom, I thanked God." (I'm beginning to think that his time in the bathroom is the only time in Ethan's life when he's still enough to think.) I asked him what he thanked God for, and Ethan said "For dying on the cross." Ahhhh, music to my ears.

Yesterday, Reni and Mike had some people from church over to the house. I had been telling some of Ellie's story to a lady, so I pulled out pictures to show her. Ethan and another boy walked up at just that moment and Ethan grabbed one of the pictures. All afternoon, Ethan had been saying that he was shy and wouldn't even respond when people said "hi" to him. But he took the picture and showed it to the boy and boldly said "This is my sister, Ellie. She died. She had a bad sick called, um, um, cancer!" And then he looked to me for the nod that said he got it right. I am so proud of that boy! His straight shooting is a delight to my heart. I never want any of us to shy away from talking about Ellie, or even speaking plainly of her death. It is the speaking that continues to give her life to us. To lose that would be another kind of death. One that I just couldn't bear.

Thank you all for your love and encouragement. Thank you for keeping Ellie's memory alive with us!


At 9:34 AM, Blogger LindaSueBuhl said...

She is quite real to all of us - somehow Ethan's thinking of God in the bathroom (WTG Ethan - good thoughts) seems like something Ellie would have just convulsed with giggles about - always supporting Ethan but thinking it was such a boy thing. I project a lot onto Ellie's memory - then I watch the videos and realize - I probably am not thinking big enough. She was and definitely IS a wonderful girl - goofy, beautiful, wonderful. Her mom ain't bad either!

At 2:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ahh, Sarah, you think I'd have learned by now to not check your blog when I'm not in a place conducive for crying. Today I'm sitting in a coffee shop in Tahlequah procrastinating my Cherokee homework and now, wiping away tears. I don't think i've ever told you how much i appreciate YOUR candor and openness, your honesty, and grace. Thanks for reminding us of Ellie and our love for her and including us in the details we never would have known had you not been willing to share them so freely with us. our Love to you and sweet Ethan! so awesome to hear how our prayers for him are being answered...
~ dora

At 3:24 PM, Anonymous Melanie Miller said...

That is one death you will never have to experience. We will never stop thinking or talking about Ellie! She will always be a part of our family and always have a special place in our hearts. The gift of her life was too short and may be frozen in time, but she will never be forgotten -- you don't have to worry about that. Hope John has a safe trip home to you all, Love and prayers, Mel

At 10:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Sarah,

It is us who owe you a thank you. I can not tell you how many times I am encouraged by your heart and words!! Love to your beautiful family and precious Ethan...

In Our Prayers,
The Haviland's

At 6:39 PM, Blogger Tonya said...

What a SWEET story! I'm with you.. I don't want our boys to EVER stop talking about Brent. I don't want them to forget ANYTHING about him. You're so right.. talking about them, well, it kind of keeps them alive to us.

ONE DAY... we'll get to see them again! I can't wait!

At 6:39 PM, Blogger Tonya said...

WHOOPS! I forgot to say THANKS for the b'day wishes! ;-)


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