We will always remember Ellie for her love for others, her creativity, sensitivity, and delight in life! Ellie's light has spread far and wide... may it continue to shine in our hearts.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

All is right in the world again...

This afternoon, John arrived! Ethan is beside himself and is permanently glued to his daddy's side. We will spend the next week packing up the last of our things, saying goodbyes and taking in as much of the Montana beauty as we can. Our plan is to load up the U-Haul and leave on Saturday morning. I'll be in touch as I'm able. Thanks so much for all of the prayers. It is so wonderful to be back together again. We were in a store this afternoon, and when John hugged me, Ethan put an arm around each of our legs. John swung Ethan up into the cart and I said "our family is all together again." Ethan sweetly replied "well, one of us isn't here, but we are still a family." Ah, yes, the Ellie girl's presence will always be missed. But we carry her with us continually, and when the the three of us are together, our family is complete.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Checking in...

Hi! I'm still here. Still packing. The front room looks like it's been hit with a tsunami. The armoire that I've been stuffing with papers and gift bags and staplers for the past 3 months has just thrown up all over the living room rug. This is the part that I hate. I've done the books and the kitchen and Ethan's room and many other parts of the house. But this mess is different. It's the weird, random, uncatagorizeable (yes, I know that's not a word) stuff that I can't figure out what to do with. It's like one 8' x 10' junk drawer. I'd like to just trash the whole thing and be done with it, but I know that somewhere down the road I'd be needing that power cord or phone number... So that's where I'm at. Drowning in a junk drawer. But I'm determined to finish it tonight - even if it takes all night! I worked on it last night until 2 a.m. So why am I sitting here at the computer instead of diving in? Because I'm stalling. I keep looking over at the piles and shuddering.

I keep reminding myself that tomorrow I get my hair done. And just like that, I'm back in my happy place. You know how I feel about hair therapy!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Travel Plans

Hello! Yes, I am alive... but barely. I feel like I've been in a coma for weeks. No, there's been nothing exciting happening like actually being sick or injured. I've just gone into a sort of shut down mode where I've been avoiding the impending reality of the move back to Florida. But now I can't ignore it any longer. It will happen whether I'm ready or not. I figure that I might as well be ready.

It's not that I'm not excited about many aspects of moving back. There is much to look forward to. It's just that I don't like change until after the fact. Things run much smother for me if I have less time from beginning to end. The ideal scenario for me would be to find out that I was going to move. Cry for a whole day. Get excited for a whole day. Run around like a chicken with my head cut off for about three days, packing. Spend about three days saying goodbyes and squeezing in as much fun as possible. Spend a day crying. Arrive at destination. That's it. About 10 days from start to finish. This dragging it out for months is killing me. I will have still only had about 10 productive days anyway. The rest of it is pretty much a total loss. My brain turns to mush and my circuits become overloaded. I'm continually at loose ends...

I thought it was time to fill you in on the plan. I could have told you this weeks ago, but I couldn't face that it was happening weeks ago. Ethan's last day of kindergarten is on Thursday, May 28. John flies to MT on May 30. We will spend about 4 or 5 days packing a U-Haul, saying goodbyes, and taking in a bit more of the beautiful Montana spring. Then we will spend about 5 days driving across the country to Florida. So our approximate date of arrival will be June 10.

Thanks for your patience with me. I will try to keep you updated along the way, but probably won't be on overly much. I have exactly two weeks to pack and squeeze in all of the fun and last minute adventures that I can...

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope all of my blogger friends who are mothers had a wonderful day today!

My day began with lots of little boy snuggles and ended just the same... That alone would have been enough! But there was also a big construction paper card with a yellow pained hand print and a refrigerator magnet made out of clay. Reni and Loretta also made me a card with a photo of Ethan on the outside. When I opened the card, there was a photo of Ellie with the absolute sweetest expression on her face. Ethan promptly stole the card from me and placed it on the table in front of his plate, open so that he could see Ellie. The longer he gazed at it, the sadder he got. He said "I miss Daddy and Ellie, but I miss Ellie more because I'm going to get to see Daddy sooner. It's going to take a long time until I can see Ellie again. I just wish I could go to Heaven now! How come I don't get to die for a long time?" Poor little guy. His eyes got all red rimmed but he would not let any tears out. We eventually went for a walk in the beautiful springtime air, and all of our moods lifted considerably! I was able to get away for a few minutes to visit Ellie's stone. I sat down and traced the words with my finger and thanked God for the precious nine years that he gave me with that amazing girl. I was struck by the irony that on this day that honors mothers, I am the fortunate one to have been touched by her... much more so than the other way around.

I also enjoyed a nice long talk with my mom on the phone today. I am very happy that I will be able to actually get to see her and my mother-in-law next year on this holiday! That will be wonderful. It's always hard to be so far away from family, but the special days are the most difficult of all!

So that was my day. I hope you all had a good day, and that those of you who were missing your mothers, or children, were able to feel the peace of God surrounding you in a very real way. Please continue to pray for the parents who have lost little ones recently. Two more sweet children died this week from NB - a little boy named Jack that we knew in NY, and a little girl named Esther whose mom I've talked with on the phone a few times. These families are embarking on the most painful journey of their lives...

Sunday, May 03, 2009

John's Visit - Part II

Wow... time has flown by! I wish I had a good excuse for not being on the blog more these days - busy, preoccupied, something... Sorry.

Here are the rest of the photos from John's surprise visit in March:

John, having just come from sunny Florida, was tickled over springtime at a Montana gas station...



And now for springtime in Glacier National Park...






John took this shot of the rocks through the water!